Are you over the age of 35 and looking for a life partner? Do you want a committed relationship rather than a fling?

Most clients come to coaching looking for a permament, lasting relationship, but are confused about the conflicting messages they receive from dating partners.

There are questions you can ask and signs that you can look for that will tell you if a man is serious about love.

What are the questions you should ask?

Very early in the dating relationship, you need to ask the person what they want and how they envision their life in the future. Most people will tell you the truth. If someone says they aren't ready for a committed relationship, believe them. If they tell you they have had multiple marriages or partners, ask what kind of personal growth venues they have sought in order to understand their behavior and patterns.

What if you meet someone on the Internet?

Lots of great people have met each other on the Internet. However, without knowing the history of someone, and without knowing their friends and family, you need a certain length of time before you really understand them. Take a year to see them with their close acquaintances and family, and go through the holidays to get a clear picture of who they are. Along with that information, ask the person about their dating and relationship history.

What are some of the warning signs that someone has no intention of ever being committed?

Unfounded jealousy is often a sign that he is doing something that he is not proud of. Other signs are, if he does not want to take you to meet his friends and family; if he does not want to talk about his work; he is always late; and if he can't give you a commitment about what you will be doing next week.

No one is perfect nor is anyone expected to be. But how your potential love interest responds to your questions; what he does with his life; and what values he lives by, speak loudly to the commitment issue.

It is important that you understand and believe that you deserve a commitment if you want one. Women who are in committed relationships are in them because they insisted upon it. They were not willing to drift along, accepting less than what they wanted to give and have.

Meeting the love of your life takes work. Don't give up. He's out there. And...you don't have to settle for a fling.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women’s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN’s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation